It just keeps getting better..

My days just keep getting better around here.  Eric was able to call me today and let me know that he will go on leave a day earlier than previously thought.  Well, actually 2 days.  He will now go on leave December 22 which is so awesome.  The downside?  I will have to drive to New Jersey to pick him up.  A long drive iwth 5 kiddos.  There will not be busses to bring them home at this time so it is up to the families to pick up their soldiers.  Oh well, at least he can drive home and I will get to have him close for a little bit longer.  I went shopping tonight and picked up some much deserved items for myself.  A few new pairs of pants that will actually fit and a new pair of shoes. 

I was reading some posts on a message board about being at a crossroads in life and marriages and it really made me think about my own marriage and family.  It made me think about how content I am with my life and reminded me that only I can change the course I am on.  I am responsible for my thoughts and feelings and actions and I can’t blame anyone else for them.  I was also reminded of the fact that while I have complained about how much I am sacrificing for my husband and family during this deployment, my husband is also sacrificing time with us and my kids are missing out on time with their father too.  It is not just me.  And while that sounds so self centered and self absorbed, it really was not intended to come out that way.  I have been focusing way too much on the negative aspects of this deployment and how difficult it is on me and my family when I should be focusing on the positive things that are happening around me. I think I am going to pose a challenge to myself and the older kids.  For the next 3 weeks we are going to come up with 2 positive things about each person in our family each day.  I am going to push the negative aside and be thankful for the children and husband I have.  A family that is appreciative of the hard work we all do, accepting of the trials of being a larger than normal family, and flexible enough to roll with the good and bad things that come our way. 

I am extremely grateful to my family for being supportive in my career choices.  I don’t have a glamorous job or one that pays really well, but I love what I do and so does my family.  The hours are long and unpredictable, the pay is really bad, the job is exhausting some days and really dirty too.  It is not a job for everyone, but it is a job I am commited to completely.  I have tried so hard to teach the kids by example that it is so important to volunteer our services to the communities around us, no matter what they might be.  So has Eric.  Community service is such an big part of who we are and the legacy we want to impart to our children.  I already see it in the older kids and I can not wait to cultivate it with the little ones too.  I am fortunate to get paid for some of my abilities instead of being a volunteer, but being a volunteer is also important. 

I am also so thankful that we have been blessed with the children we have and even though there are challenges to each and every one of them, I would not want to change any of them.  I look at each of them and think about the stages I have grown through with each one.  McKenna and I grew up together since I was so young when she was born.  Aislinn has taught me the most about patience and perserverence.  Aidan is still teaching me how to adjust my thinking.  Orren is my light, the sunshine of my days.  Aaron is teaching me that I still don’t know as much as I think I do about children and to slow down and enjoy being a mom.  Enjoy being in that moment because it will not come around again.  It is funny how each one has a different gift to bring to the family and how well they can complement each other.  I am at an age where most of my friends are just starting their families and I am finished with mine.  Well, never finished, but we are not adding any new members.  I am enjoying the help and companionship of the older kids and still being amazed by the younger ones.  It is a good place to be.  Reading about other people’s struggles and the different crossroads in life really put a lot into perspective for me over the last few days.  I also like knowing that I am not alone in some of my own struggles even when it feels like there is no one out there who can understand.  I like seeing people that I admire being able to say “I’ve been there and I was able to work past it.” or “It hasn’t been good for us but we are trying hard every day.”  Those things mean so much to me personally even though they come from people whom I have never met face to face.  I am going to start taking their advice to heart, whether it is directed at me or at someone else.  You can learn so much from people you don’t even know.

I am so proud of Eric for the hard work he does every day.  His efforts allow me to choose how and when I work and enable us to raise our family the way we want. 

I am so proud of my children for meeting each new day head on and working hard to overcome any and all challenges that come their way.  Each is unique in his or her struggles, but each one continues on and never gives up.